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26 ноября 2024 / Tuesday / Неделя нечетная
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This is the sleepy island of Saint Kitts in the Caribbean. Three hundred years ago, vervet monkeys were brought here from West Africa along with slaves serving the rum industry. Escaped monkeys acquired a taste for alcohol by eating fermented sugar cane left in the fields. Today they satisfy their thirst by raiding local bars. They have learned to be sneaky. Picking the right moment is everything. For years the monkeys have been studied for insight into our own drinking habits. Just as we vary in our taste for alcohol, so do the monkeys. Some do anything for an alcoholic cocktail. But just how some people at teetotal, so are some monkeys. These reject alcohol in favor of soft drink. Significantly the percentage of teetotal monkeys matches the non-drinkers in the human population. In line with human habits most drink in moderation. 12% are steady drinkers and 5% drink to the last drop. This similarity between us shows that a liking for alcohol is determined mainly by our genes. After each daily raid other human parallels soon appear. But unlike us, monkeys that are heavy drinkers make better leaders, respected by other monkeys. They seem to tolerate leaders that monkey around. Like monkeys our taste for alcohol began when we scoured the forest for ripe fermenting fruit. Food and alcohol became linked with intoxicating effect.

Dismissed from drama school with a note that read, "Wasting your time". She's too shy to put her best foot forward.

Turned down by the Decca recording company who said, "We don't like their sound and guitar music is on the way out".

A failed soldier, farmer, and real estate agent. At 38 years old, he went to work for his father as a handyman.

Cut from the high school basketball team. He went home, locked himself in his room, and cried.

A teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything and he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.

Fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and had no original ideas.

His fiancée died, he failed in business twice, he had a nervous breakdown, and he was defeated in eight elections.

If you've never failed, you've never lived.

- And this is my office.

- What do you do?

- I am a doctor for women.

- What do you do with them?

- I deliver their babies.

- Deliver?

- When the woman has the baby inside of her, then I go in and I take it out.

- No you don't. Everybody knows that the stork brings the baby.

- Who told you that?

- My daddy.

- Okay. Well, the stork puts the baby inside of the mother... and then I go in and I take it out.

- Ah aah. The stork brings the baby to the hospital and drops it in the bassinet.

- So you say that the baby is not inside the mummy? ...

-Then why is it that the mother gets real big?

- Because she eats a lot of food. -

Now let me get this straight. You say that the stork carries over, puts the baby in the bassinet, and the mother is real big because she eats a lot of food?

You got it.

- I see. Well, then why is it that the mother has to go to the hospital?

- The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet. The mummy goes to the hospital and gets it.

- If the stork does all that, why doesn't the stork just bring it to the mummy's house?

- Because it's too far. His wings will get tired.

- Where does the stork get the babies from?

- Heaven.

- Okay. There is a zillion skillion babies in Heaven. How does the stork know what baby goes with what mother?

- They are in a line. You know like you go to the baker and get a number.

- Why when I put my hand on the mother I can feel things moving all around?

- That's not a baby.

- What is it?

- Gas.

- Well thank you for explaining it to me.

- You're welcome, but you still didn't tell me what you do.

- I'm in charge of gas.