Dismissed from drama school with a note that read, "Wasting your time". She's too shy to put her best foot forward.

Turned down by the Decca recording company who said, "We don't like their sound and guitar music is on the way out".

A failed soldier, farmer, and real estate agent. At 38 years old, he went to work for his father as a handyman.

Cut from the high school basketball team. He went home, locked himself in his room, and cried.

A teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything and he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.

Fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and had no original ideas.

His fiancée died, he failed in business twice, he had a nervous breakdown, and he was defeated in eight elections.

If you've never failed, you've never lived.

- And this is my office.

- What do you do?

- I am a doctor for women.

- What do you do with them?

- I deliver their babies.

- Deliver?

- When the woman has the baby inside of her, then I go in and I take it out.

- No you don't. Everybody knows that the stork brings the baby.

- Who told you that?

- My daddy.

- Okay. Well, the stork puts the baby inside of the mother... and then I go in and I take it out.

- Ah aah. The stork brings the baby to the hospital and drops it in the bassinet.

- So you say that the baby is not inside the mummy? ...

-Then why is it that the mother gets real big?

- Because she eats a lot of food. -

Now let me get this straight. You say that the stork carries over, puts the baby in the bassinet, and the mother is real big because she eats a lot of food?

You got it.

- I see. Well, then why is it that the mother has to go to the hospital?

- The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet. The mummy goes to the hospital and gets it.

- If the stork does all that, why doesn't the stork just bring it to the mummy's house?

- Because it's too far. His wings will get tired.

- Where does the stork get the babies from?

- Heaven.

- Okay. There is a zillion skillion babies in Heaven. How does the stork know what baby goes with what mother?

- They are in a line. You know like you go to the baker and get a number.

- Why when I put my hand on the mother I can feel things moving all around?

- That's not a baby.

- What is it?

- Gas.

- Well thank you for explaining it to me.

- You're welcome, but you still didn't tell me what you do.

- I'm in charge of gas.